GARDEN, NATURE AND ME

My relationship with my vegetable garden is a threesome and sometimes one or more of us forgets our place. Lately Nature has been very recalcitrant, tempting Garden and me with cool breezes and little showers and then scooping up all the clouds and whisking them away again, like a spoiled child who, after deciding to share her toys, snatches them back and runs home. Then I get a bit annoyed at Nature but take it out on Garden by refusing to sow any more seeds until we get some real rain. Garden is caught in the middle with nowhere to go, so at times he just sulks or up and dies completely, just to prove a point to Nature and me! It is a stormy relationship.

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After all these years of dealing with Garden and Nature, you would think I would be able to speak their languages fluently but misunderstandings still occur. Like when I planted some garlic, forgot where the last row was and went and sowed peas all over them, then couldn't decide what to do and left poor Garden to fight it out. Nature has the fieriest temperament of all of us though, especially in recent years, and often won't communicate with Garden or me and we are left, lost in a maze, wondering if it is summer or winter, until Nature settles down again .

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Some people try to control Garden and defy Nature by using all sorts of chemical tricks, for example to kill Nature's helpers, the aphids. If left alone Garden and Nature sort through these problems but sometimes People spray things around which disrupt Nature's humour when lots of her other innocent friends start dying along with the aphids. When Nature gets really angry she sends in the overnight annihilators, earwigs and snails and sometimes the big guys - the chooks! Then you had better stand back and re-evaluate your whole relationship and maybe consider having some time apart so everyone can cool down!

When I go away on holidays, Nature and Garden have a wonderful time getting up to mischief, like naughty puppies, just so they can laugh at me when I get home. If I set the watering system to cater for hot weather, Nature sends lots of rain and cold winds which makes all the weeds grow and all my bean frames blow over. Garden then germinates a surprise pumpkin seed and allows it to overgrow the whole cucumber patch as well as the lettuce. Sometimes this backfires on Garden, however, because I rip into him and tear out all the pumpkin vine and the ruined beans and feed it to the chooks and start again, just to show who is meant to be boss here. Why won't Garden and Nature ever grow up and be nice to me?

Nature, Garden and me - we are in this relationship for the long haul - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer....until my death parts us because they will be here forever, laughing at the next poor gardener!