STILL LIABLE TO ENTHUSIASMS

Roger and I watched a movie the other night called "Web...", oh hell, I have forgotten! It started out slowly but developed the characters beautifully and we didn't see the end because the darn wizzy didn't tape quite to the end. It is the story of an extended family, including some dotty but endearing ancient folks and the liaison of a husband with a younger, sexier woman while his wife looks after these old relatives of his.

Anyway, the gist of this post is that of age. Why, I wonder, while most people of my age of 49 are getting all mature and sensible (or have been for years), am I doing the opposite and feel like, one minute skipping down the main street and the next, launching into a fiery discussion on the meaning of life with anybody that I can find? I was such a sensible young woman, once.

In the movie, one of the old, unmarried women is explaining to her equally aged visitor why a younger woman is behaving in a very animated way, on the other side of the room. She said, "...she's only 52 and still liable to enthusiasms.." I loved that so much and laughed so much that poor Roger had to stop the video and wait for me to shut-up.

Is it true then, that some time or other in the future I will lose enthusiasms ? Just when I have got to like them so much! "Oh no," I cry, or maybe some would say "Hooray! She is going to be a nice old lady after all!" How much time after 52 do I have? In some ways in would be nice to think that eventually I will be content to let the world go by without me wanting to interfere and change everything but this whole blog thing has liberated many ideas that I had never put into words before and perhaps my generation will be the first to truly go down fighting, because of blogs!

While I am on this spiel about inner feelings and the whole introspection thing, I think there is a point where paths are beckoning all over the place and you have to take a few steps in one direction before you know if that's the way you want to go. Like in that post I wrote about 'action precedes inspiration'. Just now I feel that there is a pull to follow a route I have been on, and not really enjoyed, before. That is doing things like having a stall at something like this small expo this coming weekend. Sure I love to have my say and influence people but, and again this is a big but, I am not a people person. I don't always enjoy talking to new gardeners in an anonymous way or teaching children either. Discussing something one-on-one is more for me and this sits very nicely with blogging. Also, I crave learning - not so much the knowledge itself, but the process of assimilating knowledge and re-using it in other, creative ways and in other parts of life's journey.

It is a funny thing to think about the people I know, who read this and I do wonder about how it affects what they think of me. I wish everyone would have a blog where they can explore not just their topics of interest but also themselves and maybe then we would all get to know each other better and reduce conflicts. However, the writer gets no feed-back in the way of facial expressions, body language and so on from the reader and it is impossible to know if people understand the written word as it was meant by the author. Still, I would rather write it than say it and that way I can interact with the people I find interesting and refreshing, when it suits me, anytime of the day or night.

Enthusiasms - use them or lose them.